Every once in a while I am shocked at how old I feel.
Sometimes the thought is fleeting, like when I look in the mirror and see the silver beard or see a photograph with the ever expanding bald spot on the top of my head.
Other times the feeling stays with me a bit longer, like those times when my knees hurt or I'm feeling sore and bloated in the belly.
It doesn't really bother me, but it is certainly noticeable and something I'm dealing with on an ongoing basis. A great example is when I play soccer, I no longer stay on the pitch the whole game and can often be found raising my hand requesting a substitution. Another example is my acceptance, no my satisfaction, with just relaxing at home vs always being out at social functions. That's a shift, a big shift.
But the other day I had a meeting with my optometrist and she confirmed what I was feeling. I had booked a meeting with her the day after Circle as my eyes were doing something funny and it kinda freaked me out. I actually thought people were throwing paper at me while I was tending the bar...but alas it was my eyes playing tricks on me.
After Dr. B went through her routine she said something that brought my buried feelings to the surface, it wasn't terrible, it was just reality. She said something to the affect of "wow, your eyes really have aged in the last three months" - you now have cataracts and you are dealing with PVD - which starts being quite common with people over 65.
In three months my body has aged. Of that there is no doubt.
How I manage my aging is up to me and I have a feeling I will remain young forever.
