In the same way every person is different each person handles their own cancer in a unique way.
I have had two very interesting conversations with people dealing with cancer in the last week or so and I find the process each of us is going through is quite special.
My personal style, if you can call it a style, is to kinda pretend that the cancer is temporary and doesn't really exist. My theory is that if I act as though things are normal then the cancer will get bored and leave. As I mentioned in an earlier post I am better being busy than sitting around and getting into my own head so I am trying to pack in as much adventure as possible.
Also doing that just in case the cancer doesn't get bored.
I have never googled cancer, have never done research on the immunotherapy drugs and have simply put confidence in Dr R. and stayed as positive as can. I spend so little time paying attention to cancer that I think cancer is pissed at me for ignoring it.
When I was talking with my friend Mike and he was asking about the drugs I was taking I just said "and I take something for one of my organs, but I cannot remember which one it is" to which he told me it was my Thyroid and he knew the name of the drug. You see he is quite the opposite, he is deep into research and is, in my opinion, full on fighting the cancer that he has. And he has the same cancer as me having had his kidney removed a year after me and getting lesions in his lungs a year after me. He's flying to Ottawa to learn more and is way more knowledgeable than me. The nice part is we are learning from each other now. I feel like I'm teaching the soft skills and he's teaching me the hard facts.
Yesterday I had a coffee with another friend that has had a terribly long painful journey with cancer but seems to be in a better spot now. She also has a different approach to the journey and was very strong in her opinion that I not say the cancer is mine. I had to remind her that we all do it differently and she agreed. This got us on to a conversation about how we get through this process doing different things - I do adventure and sports when I can, and she is an intellectual so she's going back to do her PhD. Impressive indeed.
She told me to listen to a Tim McGraw song. Today I did. And yup, it's me. And if I was pushy, I would tell you to do the same, but I've learned that we all do it differently.
Tim McGraw - Live Like You Were Dying
He said
"I was in my early forties
With a lot of life before me
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days
Looking at the x-rays
Talkin' 'bout the options
And talkin' 'bout sweet time"
I asked him
"When it sank in
That this might really be the real end
How's it hit you
When you get that kind of news?
Man, what'd you do?"
He said
"I went skydiving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying"
And he said
"Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dying"
He said
"I was finally the husband
That most of the time I wasn't
And I became a friend a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden going fishin'
Wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
I finally read the Good Book, and I
Took a good, long, hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then
I went skydiving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying"
And he said
"Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dying
Like tomorrow was a gift
And you've got eternity
To think about
What you'd do with it
What could you do with it
What did I do with it?
What would I do with it?
Skydiving
I went Rocky mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flying"
And he said
"Someday I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying"
Written by Craig Michael Wiseman, James Timothy Nichols, Tim Nichols • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Round Hill Music Big Loud Songs, BMG Rights Management US, LLC