Photo: Ewan Nicholson
This last week has given Tracey and I had a little scare as I had a painful belly, diarrhea and and a few other symptoms that usually align with me heading in to the emergency department. So on Monday I braved the lab so I could check my creatine and Lipase levels. We just had to find out if this was serious or not.
Fortunately when the results came back the creatine and lipase results were actually quite good. My thyroid however was low so I’m increasing my dose, which in the big picture is a rather good result considering where our minds were taking us.
However the affects of that experience kinda stay with you. You realize you got a bit cocky with your time. You realize maybe you could eat a bit better. And you remind yourself one more time that you are not promised tomorrow.
It was a small touch of the flu, how I got it I’m not sure, but thankfully I am fine and even more grateful to be given this gentle reminder of our fragility.
This scenario also refined a thought I’ve had for a couple of weeks. While we are all in isolation I get this feeling that everyone else may be getting a sense of what I’ve been going through for a couple of years. You see I’ve been sent home from work, having been on disability for two years. On disability we’ve been living with 30% less income.
I’ve been quasi isolated for years and my last bit of public interaction, my daily walks with a different person every day, have been stopped (fortunately I’m still able to walk every day with Tracey).
My cancer has kept me from playing sports, from drinking beer, from going on holidays outside of Canada.
But as you have been reading over the last few years, it’s just the cards I’ve been dealt and I’m proud to say I’m managing quite well on all accounts. Regardless of that there are still things that you think about and these days it seems to be running in parallel to what those that have been thrust into a new pandemic paradigm. Here are a few that come to mind:
It’s a little un-nerving not knowing how long you have in this condition.
You can control your spending when you have to.
It is challenging finding ways to keep your mind and body sharp. Especially the longer the ordeal goes on.
Perhaps your diet has had to change due to scarcity. Mine changed because of my health (and Tracey has done a miraculous job of keeping me on a healthy diet).
It takes a lot of work to stay positive for so such a long duration during a time of change filled with the unknown.
But remember that happiness is a contagion all on its own. The more we feed the positive side the stronger it becomes. And as a contagion, the happier and more positive we are the happier and more positive those around us become. I believe this so much that I often test it out on myself. Try this experiment - put on a big smile, then hold it for a while and see what happens. I’m pretty darn sure you won’t already start feeling a little lighter and happier. Then share that smile with others and watch it cascade.
So let’s all focus on the good in our lives. Let’s focus on ways to help ourselves and others, and maybe we’ll come out of this pandemic feeling a bit different. A little bit better about our lot in life.
And if I have a say in what our world would look like on the other side of the Covid 19 pandemic it’s that we all take the time to build a better sense of self. Use this time of isolation to think what the best ‘you’ might be and then find a way to fulfill it.