Went for a walk during the half time of the Kansas City/ Cleveland playoff game. Didn’t really want to miss much of the game but I had a job to do. I ended up missing the whole second half and I’m guessing it was an exciting half. While it was a drag to miss it I was happy I took the time to go for the walk as I was able to get a clear head thru an hours worth of movement. It was a job well done.
And yea I consider this my job these days.
At Christmas the family was sitting around the table having our post meal chat. As parents Tracey and I were checking in to make sure the kids had what they needed to be successful while away at school. Through the conversation we came to a collective thought.
The thought was that we all had a job to do.
Jack and Amanda’s job is to stay healthy and do well at University. Tracey’s job is to keep the family moving forward. And my job is to stay alive.
And no I’m not kidding. They told me my only job was to stay alive. Normally this would be a narcissists dream, to only focus on myself, but it’s kinda more than that.
As part of my job I need to get lots of sleep, eat well (heavily supported by my dietician Tracey as the low residue diet is very challenging), get plenty of exercise, meditate and maintain an optimistic attitude. I also like to add that I must keep my mind engaged and continue to be socially active.
And of course I need to participate in the process of ensuring success of the others as they prioritize their jobs.
I couldn’t imagine only focusing on myself, that means I would miss out on most of the fun. I thrive when I’m helping others and being part of something important, like my family. In fact my focus on staying alive is primarily motivated by seeing them happy and moving forward. I want to see my kids graduate and I love seeing Tracey painting and fulfilling her never ending desire to learn and create order out of chaos. Sidebar, she’s just completing an online finance course, she never ceases to amaze me.
The reality is I am going to do my job and stick around. It seems obvious that I would want to do this but don’t underestimate the mental task that this relentless and ever changing disease has on ones mind. Don’t read to much into this, I’m just saying sometimes it’s really fricken hard so you gotta stay on top of your game.
So ya, some days the job seems easy, other days it’s a little harder. Thankfully I haven’t been in emergency for a while so the job feels a bit more like a sabbatical at the moment.