Ok assuming things in the common bile duct are working as they should (still early, have mild discomfort, but I’m feeling positive). My next challenge is to put back on the 10 pounds I lost over the last couple of weeks.
Thats 10 pounds on a 154 pound frame.
My legs are so skinny, my arms are like twigs and my chest and ass look like they have caved in. Actually to be fair I never really had an ass. I have a forever bloated belly and without clothes on I’m looking more like Dobby the House Elf every day.
I identified this challenge back towards the end of winter and had planned on doing a better job of building muscle come spring and summer.
But I didn’t.
I’ve been challenged for sure by this abdominal issue and subsequent pain and discomfort since June, not that it’s an excuse but it certainly was a distraction. And in all fairness I was very diligent in walking 5-10km a day so my systems were working.
You can almost hear my two sides arguing, one saying do more, be better, get stronger now, and the other side reminding me to be kind to myself, that I’ll get there slowly.
Its the same struggle I have daily. For many months I’ve been so fatigued that I have only wanted to lie down. I tell myself that I’m simply listening to my body. But I know if I always listened to my body in this way I wouldn’t do anything and I’d be in a worse spot physically, not to mention mentally.
It’s a mental and physical battle between my ears.
But I now have less muscle than I thought was possible to still hold up a body. My pledge is to change that but without the guilt. I’m going to be kind to myself and start with small goals. Like back to those seven push ups I was able to do last year!